Talking with God

Hi all!

So I have been struggling with my prayer life lately. I kept saying I wanted to pray more and I really do want a better relationship with my Heavenly Father, however I was struggling with motivation. I would say short prayers that were requests or praises, but whenever it came to really sitting still in his presence I was always saying “I don’t have time God.” “I’ll do it later.” Now I always had time to scroll through Instagram or watch one more show with the family, just never any time to be alone with God.

There were a lot of reasons for this, but most of them centered around hidden fears I was housing. Fear of what I might hear, or might not hear. Fear that it would be disappointing and not have any impact on me. Fear that it would be awkward, like hanging out with that friend who you love in group settings but never have anything to talk about one on one. 

The last couple days I’ve really glued my pants to my seat and committed to spend 15 minutes alone with God each morning. The first day I spent most of the 15 minutes prayer journaling about how I wanted to pray and spend more time with my Heavenly Father. The next day was spent without many words, but instead just sitting at His feet and worshiping as He drew me closer. No music, just the song of my heart being lifted up and relishing in His Holy presence. The words to this song describes exactly how I felt this morning “I’m caught up in your presence. I just want to sit here at your feet. Caught up in this Holy moment. I never want to leave”. 

This evening God gave me a very clear picture of what it’s been like when I tell God I don’t have time for Him. I messaged one of my friends who had a bad day and asked her if I could take her to dinner tomorrow to chat and hear about her day and whatever else she wanted to talk about. She responded that she didn’t have time and didn’t want to talk about it. I understand this in my head, we’re all busy, but when I read the text my heart felt a stab of pain and my first thought was “why doesn’t she want to talk to me?” Truth is I know this particular friend is crazy busy and it has nothing to do with me, but that doesn’t change the way it made me feel. I think that’s the same way we make God feel when we tell Him we don’t have any time for Him. We think we’re just saying we’re busy, but we’re actually saying we’d rather suffer alone than confide in someone who truly loves us and has our best interests at heart. I know, when you put it that way it sounds crazy to stay silent, but we do.

So my challenge for you is this: just give God 15 minutes. Pour out your heart to him, tell Him that you’re angry or bored or tell him something funny that happened or just sit in his presence. It will change your life.

Love and joy,

Rebekah Sartain